A potential bride was interviewing myself and my associate who would be spearheading her event. She said she was a control freak, going to worry about every little detail. My associate said, "well, you're in luck, because you're talking to two control freaks."

I had to learn the hard way, though, to let go what I couldn't control, and savor what I could influence.  For my wedding, this meant that the lighting wasn't appropriately handled the way the venue should have, but everyone had a good time so ultimately that wasn't a big deal. For my life, the beginning stages of starting the business, it meant, my clients were well taken care of within a centimeter of their lives, but my dogs weren't walked for 3 years.  My house was untidy, not stylish, and my car was a cesspool, but I had literally not one moment to pause and fix those things.

But ultimately, the business started growing on its own, because I DID take such good care of my clients, and I started having time to walk the blessed dog, vacuum the car, and rearrange some furniture (my house still is kind of ugly, but dammit, it's finally clean).  So what was vitally important those first few years?  Pleasing my clients. Listen, House Beautiful wasn't going to photograph my house anytime soon - who cares what it looked like?  (The dogs? they needed a walk, that's for sure. And I walk them every morning now!)  Here are a couple tips for knowing when to let go.

In wedding planning, Accept what you can't Change.

With your wedding, it may mean not having the all-peony bouquet you have been dreaming about since you were a kid, but it may mean having a unique one totally unseen on all of Pinterest with less expensive flowers and voila - now you actually have a special bouquet that no one else has.  Maybe it means not getting the trendy "farm to table" caterer celebrities have for their wedding, but the food truck you got blew everyone away with its great food.  And the money you saved will now go towards a house! - nice trade-off, right? 


Maybe you grew up dreaming of a beach wedding, but your family lives inland.  Perhaps you always wanted to get married at a Tuscan-style estate, but realize it's way to expensive to hire a private mansion.  The wedding planning process is usually the first time as an adult you'll learn to "kill your darlings" - and feel okay about it. What can you control, and what can't you control?  Release what you can't overcome and welcome what you can. You'll be a happier bride or groom, a better host, and most of all, what was so important at the time of your wedding won't matter so much ten or 15 years down the line.